Why Am I Coughing Up Blood
- the act of expelling (food or phlegm) by coughing
- Violence involving bloodshed
- The red liquid that circulates in the arteries and veins of humans and other vertebrate animals, carrying oxygen to and carbon dioxide from the tissues of the body
- An internal bodily fluid, not necessarily red, that performs a similar function in invertebrates
- the fluid (red in vertebrates) that is pumped through the body by the heart and contains plasma, blood cells, and platelets; “blood carries oxygen and nutrients to the tissues and carries away waste products”; “the ancients believed that blood was the seat of the emotions”
- smear with blood, as in a hunting initiation rite, where the face of a person is smeared with the blood of the kill
- temperament or disposition; “a person of hot blood”
- obligated to sell if I receive an offer?
why am i coughing up blood – Techno Source
Death of an Engineer, pt3
So how have these two years gone? Well, emboldened by my second chance, I lived hard. I devoted every minute to helping everyone I met, to helping others help themselves, and to improving Midian itself. I’ve established the League of Engineers, which grows and fosters every day (I now pass this burden of leadership to Niobe, bless her soul,) a group that does nothing but helps out those who need help – and fosters a technological solution to a city in dire need of it.
In the end, I suppose, I was killed defending a person. If there’s one thing that years of cinema enjoyment has taught me, it’s that that is the greatest act of charity one can possibly fulfill. Not tooting my own horn here, just making a point. I think I’ve done as much good as one man can humanly fit into two years…
That said, my borrowed time is now up. I was given a two year window to fix what I’d messed up… and now, my window has closed.
Bianca Bender she’d run her hands over his body feeling the mass of broken and liquid feeling abdomen filling with blood….she’d take other vital signs quickly efficiently as she crouches beside him feeling his pulse weak and thready seeing his limbs and neck at odd angles from where he landed she’d look up towards the tower…and then back down at Laz…she’d clasp his hand…and place the other across his heart…keeping her eyes pinned on his…speaking, "The damage is severe…you are sure…" sounds..detatched now…hollow…"I’ve seen a fall like this before…" looks up to Elise, "WE move him and it severes a nerve….or loosens an already injured artery and he strokes out or has a heart attack."
Lazarus Lowenstark coughs again, thankful at the lack of cinematic blood on his lips. He looks up to Bianca, touching her cheek, "Not now… don’t be professional with me now, Bianca. I need MY Bianca, not everyone else’s." He says, tears coming from his cheeks, "I am sure… my borrowed time is up, I’m afraid. I have to pay the bill for the two years I"ve been given." His head rolls to Portia at her shriek, and he shakes it. "Shh… you’ll wake the robot. It’s okay. It really is okay."
Elise Capalini looks at Bianca, and only nods. Part of being a stitcher was knowing when they couldn’t do something. She would reach out and gently touch Laz’s arm…still warm, still strong, still her brother. "Laz." It’s only a whisper, but she doesn’t look away, not even at the sound of Portia.
Eamon Cale still doesn’t believe the text, not even when the second comes… not until he exits the rectory and hears the sound of screams. Sister D, he thinks, and breaks into a run. He shoves through the side door and rushes around the corner, the tails of his black coat flying behind him. Boots clatter on the broken pavement as he stumbles to a stop. He stares at Laz in silence, then he looks at Elise, at Bianca. Someone let him in on the joke.
Portia Kass couldn’t move, she was just standing there with her mouth open and her lower lip quivering as she listened to Bianca’s diagnosis. Her hands started to shake. Laz’s voice was the only thing that seemed to shake her. She stepped closer… nearer to Elise and crouched down there. "Laz…?" she asked in a wary tone. Her eyes were already beginning to brim with tears.
Bianca Bender breaks…just that easily at the my Bianca….she’d lay her head against his chest and breathe in the scent of him….. her shoulders shaking now…tears soaking into his shirt….voice uneven and full of to many emotions, "I love you…" sobs now cringing as she feels her face press against a broken rib…"I love you so much…forever…" repeated over and over now…so that he knows…holding his hand.
Darkness Odigaunt barely manages to make her way down the towers, breath hitching and eyes streaming, "Make him stand up!" she screams hoarsely as soon as she rounds the corner, tattered remains of her dress trailing out after her.
Elise Capalini swallows hard; it’s the sight of Laz and Bianca…and Bianca saying her goodbyes that gets her–that makes it real and relatable. And when Eamon enters the graveyard…she bites her bottom lip, trying her best not to cry, but she’s quickly losing that battle. "D, he–can’t…he can’t… Eamon–he needs you."
Portia Kass wasn’t holding back the tears any longer, no way she could after listening to Bianca carry on like that. She was sobbing, only just keeping herself from breaking out into hysterics. Her eyes were on Laz’s face. He was going to be okay. He had to be.
Lazarus Lowenstark brushes Bianca’s hair away from her eyes, and smiles at her. "Shhh… I know you love, me, Bianca. As I love you. With all of my heart… " He holds her, head pressed into him, and looks to Elise, then to Eamon. "Eamon… I’m going to need
the sky is falling, straight down
it’s come to crush us and leave us in our blood to drown
barely making sound
the streets are painted so still
can hear the breathing, the making sense of the spill
enough to make you wanna kill
this’ll be a long one. i don’t even care.
i didn’t say a word to him on january 9th, the day I first ever came to downers grove. i saw him, but there were lousy girlfriend issues and i saw him maybe 4 seconds in the parking lot of best buy. so fast forward a month. february 13th, 2010. went to go see oceano with paddy, matt, dave, and nick, at the metro. oceano, an epic band with a black lead singer. all that was needed to know and be said. done deal.
first time I really met nick granata. he bought sweat pants that said "bringin’ the beef". that’s all I needed to see before knowing I was going to fucking defriend this guy.
a week passes. I decide to say hello. a hello turns into an accidental pocketdial on the phone, turning into an hour-long conversation, turning into hours of conversations nightly, turning into city going every weekend and a lot of purple-drank buying and even more rooftop moments and eventually fucking michigan. yep. all exponentially growing and stemming from such small things. such, such small things.
nick’s always been around, always around. never ditched me, unlike some. cough, paddy mcguire. adore paddy, but nick’s yet to fail me. you’re fucking wonderful, granata.
so many daily things in life that i see that need no relevance to anything but remind me of this kid. fish. purple drank. black people. inhalers. i remember when i threw grape crush into my nebulizer just so I could say I inhaled purple drank steam. can’t be good for my lungs, but then again, whatever. stogies. excuses for the homeless as to why we can’t give ‘em spare change. even reading the heroin diaries and listening to alkaline trio and heavens together. i really never thought things would be so wonderful, y’know?
there was even a night when I was at the beach at 10 PM and it was storming out. I saw a flash of lightning and nick called me up on the phone– from 35 miles away did we see the exact same streak of lightning. at every moment the sky lit up, despite distance, were we able to relate on a note of sorts screaming across the sky.
i don’t need a boyfriend or love or romance to get me through life– no mom, i’m not dating nick. don’t worry about it. what i needed was a permanent friend, one that was going to not let me down in the middle of the night when a phone call via tears was really needed to be made and jokes about the most stupidest of topics ever would be told. nothing like 2 AM hugs and watching black dynamite at 4 am, then crashing. nothing like just being awesome. nothing like nick granata.
you’ll probably never read any of this nick, but in case you ever do,thank you.. my eyes have never been so opened in my life before, and it’s all thanks to you. thank you. eternally.
why am i coughing up blood